Bonfire funnies

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 11/11/2013 at 12:01 • Filed to: None

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My BIL was having a bonfire to get rid of a bunch of rotten old wood that they've cleared out around their house. He's got a 5 gallon can of diesel to get the job done. So we've got a nice fire going. it is starting to dry stuff out and build up some coals. It is slow because this crap is all rotted and wet.

It is not burning quick enough for him so he grabs the can and sloshes a bunch on the flames. The flames run up the stream and catch the can on fire. Naturally he freaks out and drops the can. It is now leaking burning diesel onto the gravel. I say, "Kick it into the fire." He refuses. Then he relents and kicks it into the pit. Now there is a large section of gravel that is on fire and the bright red can in the pit.

He's nervous that my sister is going to come see and note what an idiot he is and proceed to be angry with him. So we stack wood over the molten gas can and I take the nozzle home. The perfect crime.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > CalzoneGolem 11/11/2013 at 12:04

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I can almost imagine how it all went down. I chuckled when reading this :)

desertdog5051 > CalzoneGolem 11/11/2013 at 12:08

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BIL is certainly not the brightest bulb in the string.

CalzoneGolem > desertdog5051 11/11/2013 at 12:10

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I told him that it is fortunate that it was not gasoline or this story would have ended quite differently.

CalzoneGolem > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 11/11/2013 at 12:11

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The ground burned for almost 30 minutes after this. Despite stomping and shoveling more dirt on to it.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > CalzoneGolem 11/11/2013 at 12:12

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Yeah, I imagined something like that, I also imagined him saying something like "oh shit oh shit oh shit, don't tell the missus... she'll be cross"

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > CalzoneGolem 11/11/2013 at 12:13

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Yeah, I imagined something like that, I also imagined him saying something like "oh shit oh shit oh shit, don't tell the missus... she'll be cross"